THAT LITTLE PHRASE

I’m sorry.

That little phrase.
It can mean so much if it’s acted on.
But otherwise, it’s just empty words,
Meaning nothing.

Why is it that you can accept it from her, but not me?

She can say she’s sorry. I’m supposed to forgive her.
Pretend nothing ever happened.
Because she’s willing to move on.
But she wasn’t the one who got hurt.

Maybe I just want to make her hurt,
Because she hurt me.
I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle.
I know I couldn’t choose between my mother and my daughter.
You’ve told her she’s wrong, and she’s tried to change.
But you’ve said it yourself, she’s old enough to be set in her ways.

I can’t change either. I’ve tried.
She’s helped make me who I am.
I didn’t get this way because of one incident.
Grandma was part of it. Every time I was told I was wrong,
I hated a little more.
It’s because of her I learned to hate.

Please don’t rip this up Mommy.
I’m sorry you get caught between us.
I’m sorry you and I argue,
And that you hurt.

But I’m not sorry that I can’t love her.
Or that I don’t want a relationship, but I’m willing to try for your sake.
Wounds may heal, and scars will fade, but they’re always there.

I’m sorry we have to argue like this Mommy.

Please forgive me.

- Melanie Aloi