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Advice on Love: An Interview with William Shakespeare

The following blog post was written by Rylie Day.

Well, it’s over. Valentine’s Day is officially done and we all survived. (That is, I can only assume that if you’re reading this, you didn’t drown in champagne or go comatose from over-indulging in chocolate.) In my experience, Valentine’s day is typically met with mixed emotions. Some people hate it, others go half broke with dinner reservations, 20 ft. tall teddy bears, and $600 bouquets of roses. No matter what the reaction, whenever February 14 rolls in, everyone becomes an expert on love; and so, Writers & Books decided to interview the real expert on romance,  William Shakespeare, to tell us what it’s really all about. It was certainly quite enlightening.

W&B: Hi Bill, thanks so much for taking the time to come in. We know you’re pretty busy.
W.S.: I wasted time and now doth time waste me.
W&B: Okay…that’s too bad, I guess…Well, we’d love for you to tell us a little about love.
W.S.: I shall speak low when I speak of love.
W&B: Um, alright.
W.S.: Love is the greatest of dreams, yet the worst of nightmares… The course of true love never did run smooth.
W&B: Very interesting, very interesting. Well that seems to be a bit depressing. Do you have anything positive to say about love?
W.S.: The sight of lovers feedeth those in love.
W&B: Well I guess that explains why everyone seems to catch the love bug around Valentine’s Day.
W.S.: Cupid is a knavish lad, thus to make the females mad.
W&B: I’d be careful, we have a lot of female readers out there. So a lot of people have a hard time knowing when to express their feelings. What do you think about it? Should a person say “I love you” right away or wait?
W.S.: Love sought is good, but given unsought is better…I know no ways to mince it in love, but directly to say “I love you.”
W&B: Okay… Well, that seems to be a little bit incongruous, but…You seem to be a pretty firm believer in love at first sight. What do you have to say to those skeptics out there?
W.S.: Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?
W&B: Ah, yes. Was that how it was for you and Anne? You married at 18. That’s pretty young! What advice can you give to young lovers?
W.S.: Young men’s love lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.
W&B: Oh dear. That’s pretty pessimistic. Well…what advice can you give to all the guys out there trying hard to win a girl over?
W.S.: They do not love that do not show their love. Compare her to a summer’s day.
W&B: Hmmm…yes, yes that seems about right. Let’s dedicate some time to all those lonely hearts. Heartbreak is tough this time of year. Any coping mechanisms?
W.S.: Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o’erfraught heart and bids it break.
W&B: Sound advice. Well what should we do if our love is unrequited? Or if our lover, I don’t know, loses his mind after being beckoned by the ghost of his dead father and completely ignores us in an effort to seek revenge?
W.S.: Go mad and drown thyself.
W&B: I guess we set ourselves up for that one. One last question for you, Bill. What do you think is the best gift to give to that special someone?
W.S.: Thy second best bed….and furniture.
W&B: Sounds foolproof. Well, Bill thanks a lot again for coming in and speaking with us. We won’t take up anymore of your time. Parting is such sweet sorrow and all that.
W.S.: Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.